So the last couple of days I've been having strange (at least to me) they are strange dreams.

Yesterday I didn't have time to write out what I saw. I was in a playground around dusk, the weird thing was the playground was bigger, like it was made to handle young adults and teens. I was definately excited because there were slides and wooden platforms to climb on. It just looked like fun. Anyway I kept seeing people I was familier with every now and again just before I decided to haul my self up on a hip high platform to get into everything else. By that point though I started waking up.

Today I was back in the old neighborhood but the strange thing was that my ex and his family were there too. And I was in their house looking for things I had left. My mother was helping me too with these seeming to be gift items that were hers. Anyway, we were going around making sure we didn't forget anything and I kept seeing these astropop star shaped icecreams popping up around the "living room" of the house. I kept picking them up because I didn't want them melting and leaving spots on whatever they were resting against. At one point I was hurrying everyone along because I felt like we weren't alone and that we were supposed to be there. The last thing I grabbed before leaving the one room was a gold worked drop necklace from a stuffed bear that felt like it was either mine or my mother's. I passed an open bedroom door catching sight of the ex's parents listening to some music and actually looking a bit nostalgic. At least they didn't see me. On the landing (the house appeared as a split level with a short foyer- not what he lived in at all) I litterally ran into him and his sister and this gaggle of sister-age girls. He seemed just as surprised as I was about seeing me. I asked him about getting back a couple of items that I had actually left with him when he mentioned that he can't because he no longer had them. I had to pause a moment there and think because it was video game related how could he not? And then I turned my attention to his sister and she was not radiating hate and discontent at me. I asked her if she still hated me and she said she had only been mad at me for about a year. While I still think it was a bit crazy I can understand given the fact that I had been dating her brother and she didn't know the whole story about what had happened in our falling out. Anyway, as I left the house I ran into my brother who looked preoccupied with either a phone or a gameboy and completely got left behind by our mother. We both shrug it off and follow the familiar street back to the otherside of where we used to live. I can remember rounding that familiar corner, remembering that it was a bus stop for us as kids. And I'm looking up seeing the late afternoon sun light up the old street and it feels like home, but I don't live there now- I can't and neither could I even afford to. I guess in some ways my past loves to haunt me with things I know I cannot return to.